alexandramadar Fear is what drives a lot of us to do things that we later end up regretting in life. In the moment, it is really hard to admit that. It's always realized when it's "too late" to do anything about it. These last few weeks I have been physically forced to rest and slow down. To be still, in a way. This has conjured up a painstaking amount of thoughts that have been driven by fear, anxiety, pressure, comparison, etc. Being still has never felt so exhausting. I decided to take this week to reflect on the last few years of my life, going back to when I last truly felt happiest at my core - regardless of relationships, career success, etc. Seeing how many years and how much time has passed since that feeling was so upsetting but it has opened my eyes to the root causes of it all: myself. I have held myself back from so many things due to fear and not in the ways you may think. It's not the fear of diving in, it's the fear of diving into a path that hasn't been used before. The pressure to follow the footsteps of others, how society draws these lanes, and the false, temporary comfort that it brings. It has truly left my soul empty. I remembered the exact moment I last felt true happiness and it was when I fully listened to myself and my intuition for my path in life. It took me all over the world and into places that have impacted me greatly. Being 18 years old and living in Italy by myself, not knowing a soul, was that moment for me. I have been awakened to so many things these last few days that I am so grateful for. Second chances for myself, from myself, is all that I have needed without realizing it. To be fearful, brave, and free.. words I would have never thought I could live coexisting. With this all being said, my feed and the things I post are going to change to fit this new self awareness that I have found in hopes that it will encourage you to find yourself, your core true happiest self, and to share it with the world. Because the world needs you and the happiness that you are capable of bringing. Now more than ever.
** These photos were taken in my one of my favorite places in the entire world: Washington State.