Mari Andrew @bymariandrew

bymariandrew Notes from the past six months, 3/9

bymariandrew Notes from the past six months, 2/9

bymariandrew Notes from the past six months, 1/9

bymariandrew Goodbye home 😭! I was feeling a bit silly about how sad I’ve been to move from my sweet apartment in the East Village (photos by @yuvsees ) to a new apartment in a new neighborhood. I’ve done much bigger moves before—this isn’t that dramatic!⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ But my wise wonderful friend @matthiasroberts reminded me that a minor move can still be intense because you miss such small specific things about the world you’ve created within a city.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ “Moving neighborhoods is a BIG deal and I imagine brings up so so so much. Like, deeply introspective, melancholy, holy walks of saying goodbye to familiar friendly buildings and trees,” he said.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Yes! That!! Familiar buildings and trees! Park bench dedications and a light pink hydrangea bush and the guy who sits on my neighbor’s stoop reading Anna Karenina, etc.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ My therapist recently told me, “I know you’re pretty spiritual, so maybe it would help you to do some kind of ceremony to thank your apartment for being your home.” I was like MA’AM I’M TEN STEPS AHEAD OF YOU :) I thanked every corner and every wall during a dance of gratitude, asking them to lovingly hold the next person who lives there…it got weird. But I’m certain that every loss and transition—no matter how minor—deserves ritual. (Dance optional.)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ Thank you, home, for cheering me in the mornings and soothing me at night, and for being a sanctuary of healing, love, joy, and solitude. Thank you, gorgeous perfect East Village, for being first chapter of my NYC story.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ Next chapter: A Mari Grows in Brooklyn 💛

bymariandrew I keep saying “I haven’t been creative lately” only because I haven’t been making the specific type of art that I normally share here. BUT that is fake news because I’ve been so creative in other ways: cooking with all this stuff I get from the farmers market that I’ve never used before (white cucumber—who is she?), figuring out new ways to celebrate (candlelit picnics), making use of limited outdoor space (park office), plus making art for my next book!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And the way I have been most creative is that I’ve been increasingly flexible with my assumptions about myself--the biggest creative undertaking of all. As is often the case during a season of limitations and loss, I’ve watched my identity quickly expand: ‘Oh, this is who I am?’ That can be disorienting, but I go back to this advice I once got about heartbreak: Don't let pain and fear make you more rigid, let it make you more open.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ In the spirit of openness, I’ve been continually challenging what I thought to be true about myself. The initial loss of freedom to zip around the city/world made me think that I wouldn't experience much inspiration this year, but exploring the tiny/enormous world of my mind has been a hugely freeing adventure in getting to know myself anew. ⁣⁣ A couple small shifts:⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ A lifelong summer-hater, this year I can't get enough of the long days and abundant sunshine and even humidity?!!!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ After once deciding I was forever a "Manhattan person," I'm moving boroughs this month!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I always thought I was too restless to stay put, but now I delight in stillness!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The cool thing is, when you find a new way to think about yourself, you don't necessarily lose the old way--rather, you expand into a more dynamic person. So, loving summer doesn't mean I'm no longer a "fall/winter person." It means I'm now a spring/summer/fall/winter person. :)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ There are much more significant shifts, but I'm still processing those (I'll be processing this year for the rest of my life). I've resolved to let curiosity--rather than assumption--be my guide. What's next? I start liking mayonnaise?? Probably not in this lifetime. But I'm staying open!

bymariandrew Tomorrow!! Come hang out with me, @aminatou , and @annfriedman as we talk about their gorgeous masterpiece @bigfriendshipbook , all about the wondrous, essential, adventure of friendship! Friendship is by far the most important part of my life but I don’t talk about it in public very much, so I’m really really excited to do that :) Tickets: sixthandi.org

bymariandrew Been thinking a lot.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ About what my behavior should look like if I truly believe that “We all belong to each other” (a watchword given to me by @auroracommons doing incredible work in Seattle).⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ About what sustainable action looks like beyond protests, beyond Pride Month, beyond social media directives.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ About my belief in the inherent goodness of all humans, which is reeeally being tested lately.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ About how self-esteem comes from self-respect, and self-respect comes from the things you do when no one is looking.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ This morning I took a virtual class with the wonderful @robinnyc and she said “You could skip the last 20 seconds of class. No one will know. But your SPIRIT will know.” That’s how I’ve been keeping myself accountable in my commitments—I’m not about to let down my spirit!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Here are a couple commitments I’ve made recently:⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 1. I’ve committed to getting out the vote: I joined Vote Save America’s Adopt a State program and I’ll be supporting the work of organizers in…Arizona! Adopt a state yourself at www.votesaveamerica.com. I’m also writing hundreds of postcards to voters with www.PostcardsToVoters.org! ⁣⁣ 2. I’ve committed wearing my damn mask, even when it’s humid: It’s how I help protect the city I love so well.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ [*Please know* By refusing to wear a mask or social distance for the sake of convenience or a grossly warped interpretation of freedom, you’re not only harming your community around you, but you’re contributing to hospital overload—putting an unbearable amount of strain on medical workers, whose stress and grief may haunt them for years. We all belong to each other!]⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 3. I’ve committed to giving my full attention to the prophetic voices around me who are envisioning and actively calling for a new world. Instead of asking “But what about?” I’m committed to asking “What if?”⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ If imagination is the opposite of pessimism—which I believe it is—then this is richly imaginative, creative, life-giving work. It will take a lot of our time, energy, and dollars, but...what if?

bymariandrew I was moved by the NYT list of a thousand (of the 100,000) people who have died of coronavirus in the U.S. with lines from their obituaries, and I reflect on a few of those names each day as part of my morning prayers.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I’m now incorporating the names of just some of the countless Black people who have been killed at the hands of police (many whose names we don’t know). I will think of these valuable and beloved names as I commit and re-commit to the daily, ongoing practice of anti-racism. These are just a few of them.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ It was very challenging to find personal tidbits about many of these names—most of the news coverage doesn’t talk about who they were. But I don’t want to only know how these worthy souls died; I want to remember how they lived, whose children they were, what they loved.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ That said, Black people should never have to prove their humanity or goodness in order for me or anyone to fight for their justice, i.e. it’s beautiful that Breonna Taylor was an EMT and great friend but she inherently deserves breath and justice for being a human!⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ For me, there is a spiritual dimension to protesting, and reflecting on these wonderfully-made individuals keeps me charged up to keep fighting. May they all rest in power, peace, beauty, and justice.⁣ ⁣ *I apologize for the misspelling of Rekia Boyd! I’ve also just learned that I should not have titled this “Say Their Names.” There’s an explanation in my story and on @for.harriet 💕

bymariandrew Tomorrow should have been the 27th birthday of Breonna Taylor, a precious soul I can’t stop thinking about. Today my story has action items you can do to honor her life and fight for her justice (see @battymamzelle ’s bio for a link list). #BirthdayForBreonna #SayHerName

bymariandrew Black Lives Matter. There are some anti-racism resources in my Story Highlights.

bymariandrew The sixth and final installment in my ‘Things I Miss’ series is up on @forgemag . Today’s topic: the uncomfortable probability that I will some day be nostalgic for this time ❤️ forge.medium.com